When I first grew my beard three years ago, I was mainly trying to look older. I have a lot of responsibility in my day job, and the last thing I wanted a client saying was, "He's how old?" Thus, I decided to pull a Teddy Pendergrass and grow the beard.
But now that I'm a little older, I'm beginning to wonder if it's time to retire the beard. Plus, Mrs. V never liked it anyway--she said it was hard to cuddle because it always scratched her. (Of course, being that I'm anti-cuddling, maybe I should keep the beard). But if I did cut the beard, what new look should I go with? Here are the options:
Pros: If I could look a tenth of how cool Denzel looks, it would be worth it. Plus, that'll give Mrs. V a chance to caress my baby smooth skin.
Cons: It'd be a pain in the ass to shave every day. And let's be honest--it'd take a lot more than a smooth face to look as cool as Denzel.
Pros: Sporting this look is just like hanging a sign around my neck that says, "Don't f@#$ with me."
Cons: If I don't shave it regularly, I'll end up looking like Jamie Foxx from Miami Vice.
Pros: I used to sport this in college, so I'm used to it.
Cons: I also used to drink Amaretto Sours and eat Ramen noddles in college. Some things aren't worth revisiting.
Pros: Hiro, Phil Jackson, and R. Kelly have been seen sporting it. Why wouldn't I want to be like them.
Cons: A fictional superhero, a 66 year old man with a bad hip, and "the Urinator" sport this. My wife would never sleep with me again.