Monday, December 11, 2006

Poems That Suck - Part 2

Last year, I posted a poem that I wrote back in 1991. For those of you that remember, it sucked. Well, after reading a recent post by Sara Zarr (who's book, Story of a Girl, comes out next month), I am inspired yet again to post bad poetry. Here's another gem from 1991.

I get migraine headaches when I see:

1) grizzly bears
2) flash floods
3) killer sharks
4) science teachers

I seem to get a headache everyday.

Feel free to throw as many imaginary rotten tomatoes as you'd like.


Monday, December 04, 2006

Who's Mr. V?

Super Cool Editor Guy has me working on a bio for My Life A As Rhombus. I won't reveal the bio just yet, but I will reveal what didn't make the cut:

1) Varian Johnson was not a ladies' man in high school, but he will lie and tell you that he was.

2) Varian Johnson uses his powers for good, while other authors use their powers for evil.

3) Varian Johnson loves gummi bears almost as much as Republicans love money.

4) Varian Johnson used to drive a car nicknamed "Jenny, the Mighty Topaz."

5) Varian Johnson likes to cruise the web for "artistic" photographs.

6) Varian Johnson is very jealous of John Green and Markus Zusak.

7) Varian Johnson lives in Austin, TX with his beautiful wife and two dogs that like to lick on stuff, like each other's...stuff.

8) Varian Johnson couldn't do a pull-up if his life depended on it.

Lastly, I've finally become a member of the cults known as Live Journal and MySpace. Feel free to check me out there, if you're more partial to one of those formats. I'll be cross-posting my ass off for the next few weeks, until I figure out how to best synidate posts.

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